Monday, August 20, 2012

Someone to talk to

Selavy writes this morning about not being able to relive the past, not being able to get back to it. It's true of course, since early Dylan we've all known it, perhaps even longer. I have spent some time, too much really, preparing the past for revisiting. I have never been very good at preparing for the future.  If it has happened at all it was a byproduct of something else.  I had a 401k but I only had that because the student loan people couldn't take it away. Apple was matching my contributions so I saw it as free money, which it was, in a way. It gets less free every time I make withdrawals from it.

Ok, I just spent 15 minutes with Rachel clarifying little conversations we've had over the last few days. In addition to the many other changes that have occurred in our lives since having a child conversation has taken a few hits. There is more noise in our lives now. Not just the actual noise that the child makes, but the static from the baby monitor, the sink running to clean the various little accoutrements, the "baby-bullet" whirring to make food, the trash compactor to do away with some of it. It is a nearly constant disruption to conversation. 

One misunderstood word is all that it takes. 

Was he Austrian, I thought he was Australian?  

Yes, he's Australian.  

I'm not so sure.  

After looking it up, trying to speak over the sound of the sink from another room. 

Yeah, he's Australian.

So what. Why are you screaming?

I'm not, the sink's running.

It is all a pointless conversation, then there is clarification needed to resolve the pointlessness. There is no easy solution for it.  

Rachel wants another child. I just want someone to talk to.