Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Sides Matter / NSFW

(Mein Unkle Heinrich)

I lost a few more friends yesterday, and am feeling a bit remorseful this morning. I got a little bit too excited about the Germany vs. Algeria game and was perhaps making light of some very delicate continental sausage munching.

Why can't we openly discuss the war-mongering Germans without feeling as if we're doing something wrong? When did they become victims? They always seem so strong. I don't get it.

I blame Oprah Winfrey for this, again, though don't tell them that.  

No, I only kid. But I did receive a few death threats.

I was called a racist, sort of, for not being adequately incensed that somebody referred to France and Germany as having already "met on bigger battlefields"... 

I was reminded that if America was playing Nigeria and a commentator mentioned slavery that they would be fired.

Possibly, but I believe my friend of direct German descent doesn't realize that it is socially acceptable to stereotype blood-loving Teutonic savages as such, but slavery is a very sensitive issue here. I've never seen Fritz cry before. It was really something, like a chilled Riesling.

Sure, we're supposed to celebrate our differences but what if I celebrate through laughter and derision? Why should I be ostracized for my personal preferences when acknowledging other cultures and nationalities.

I'm Irish. Nobody even thinks twice about poking me in the stomach with whiskey.

Okay, ok. I'll stop. I am only kidding, of course. I harbor no ill-will towards any race or nationality, of course. It's just that the World Cup makes bigots of us all. If you really care about the game, that is. The dividing lines are based on nation, land mass, privilege, language, etc. 

I have some friends that will only root for smaller countries, etc.

I just don't see *much* difference between racism and nationalism. Racism is bad, nationalism is applauded and encouraged. I don't get it.

The only difference between the two mindsets is arguably that of the discriminate and the indiscriminate.

If I'm missing something then please send me an email and let me know. It's been a while since I've thought about any of this stuff.

But let me tell you this....

There is a reason that World Cup is bigger and better than the Olympics: Men.

The Olympics are a competition that has institutionalized overt sexism. Nobody seems to notice, mind, or care.

Imagine hearing this: I'm sorry, but we do not allow your gender to compete in this competition at all, and certainly not for a gold medal. 

We award those based on gender.

You'd be rightly pissed if you heard that, wouldn't you? Who the fuck are they to tell you what gender you are... Make them prove it in court.

But, it is a very recognized and celebrated part of the Olympics, Men's and Women's competition. 

That's why people who are truly for equality watch and support World Cup Football. It is based on merit alone. Well, that and national heritage. But you get the idea...

The girls get to play for their countries in World Cup if they're good enough to be on the team.

Oh wait, I just got word that FIFA are a bunch of sexists as well. Jesus, as if they don't have enough problems, now they have to host women's football also.

Has anybody that I know EVER watched women's World Cup? If so, please delete me as a friend. 

Oh well, there is no end to it.

I have learned a valuable lesson though: always claim victimhood. 

It's more difficult than it sounds. There's a lot of competition for the title. 

What do you say to the person pictured below that wishes to compete, and be recognized for their modest athletic accomplishments?


(Don't worry, she's merely a referee)