Dirty Old Egg-Sucking Dog

(A suspected welfare recipient, likely fleeing a crime)

Yikes.  I've been naughty on Facebook again.  I can't help myself.  I'm like a dog that chases cars, incurable.  A dirty old egg-sucking dog, as Johnny Cash used to say.  I'll see some post about stopping the federal government from interfering with states' rights to discriminate freely, and without question, and then I'm off and running in the middle of the night.  Sometimes I feel like I'm having to say, "Whoah, whoah, hold on here... Nobody's suggesting that a heterosexual white woman shouldn't be allowed to be given away at her wedding.  We're not talking about total social upheaval here.  We're talking the sanctity of tradition here."

Once people start using the word "sanctity" to argue their point I get very shaky.  What's the first sentence in The Bill of Rights again?  Something about making no law respecting the establishment of any religion. How the fuck do people not know what the word "sanctity" means?  Don't get me wrong... I really believe in the sanctity of marriage.  I believe the ownership of all of Rachel's land should have been given over to me the moment I married her.  I mean, truly, I believe in the sanctity of the word, and its long glorious history.  If Rachel and I have a daughter I want to arrange a wedding for her at my choosing, to increase my political powers, or to extend my land usage.  I seek only to preserve the meaning of the word, the sanctity of it.

If these people had any more intellectual curiosity they might put themselves in serious danger of UFO abductions. 

This is the same group of people that decry the "liberal media" and the damage that it's doing to the country, stopping just short of suggesting ways to silence them, conveniently forgetting the second half of that first sentence in The Bill of Rights, something about the freedom of the press.

My demands would be much simpler: literacy tests for every employee of Fox News.

I often raise the point that if they're such big believers in democracy then why can't they accept that people regularly vote for social systems, and elect politicians who will vote for such systems?  Even though I am not a strong believer in the welfare system, it ires them to no end to have to accept that democracy works against them in many ways.  In that same way I've always maintained that if Jerry Falwell was elected president then I would accept him as the commander in chief of the largest military in the world.  

"You've got to kill the terrorists before the killing stops. And I'm for the president to chase them all over the world. If it takes 10 years, blow them all away in the name of the Lord." -Jerry Falwell

But the rattling of conservatives sabers continues, the beating on the chest, the waving of The Constitution, accusations, calls for a return to 18th century values.  I often wonder why they don't want to return to that time's science as well.  If we could only amputate this poor ol' bum nigger leg of mine.... instead we've got to drag it around with us as it destroys the rest of a perfectly healthy body...

Get them salivating about social systems.  It's really something.  Then shift the conversation from welfare to crime.  Ask them how much they'd be willing to pay to support a police structure that could handle all of the increased levels of crime that would result in a nation devoid of social programs.  No price would be too high, of course.  But this is when you can really glimpse the hatred in their minds. These are people that don't seem to be very bothered with the idea of the military assisting local law enforcement agencies with both intelligence and enforcement, they'd just prefer if it was happening in another country, mostly.  

Of course, if they can discern what you're doing then you'll only get the looks of condescending admonishment.  The "don't try to 'out' me on this issue" stare.  It's the old, I've been a closet racist for longer than you can possibly know, look.  It is a stern warning, an assured stare, that functions as warning as much as it does declaration.

None of them ever give me an example of a modern nation state that functions perfectly - the way that they desire - peeling back the clock to a time when only the first 10 amendments were in place.  Because there are none.  Their response is simple, those nations were never worthy of what we've enjoyed here.  Simple, right?  Ah, the first 10 commandments...  Why the fuck do we even let women vote?  That wasn't even on the list...!!!  In this strange and imaginary perfect world of the past where Call of Duty style capitalism reigned nobody ever stopped to question if all of the promises of liberty had yet been fulfilled.  Bullshit, lots of people did.  Ah, the glorious past, where we all at least knew our place... We fought for it, god-damn it. We had to....  We were Christians.

When is the republican party going to admit that they've been hijacked by the conservative christian right the way that the southern democrats had been up until they split off in the early 60's?  The democratic party came out in strong favor of civil rights, and the dual decisions had been made to prohibit state-sanctioned prayer and mandatory bible reading in public schools.  That was enough for them, it was time for action. With Jerry Falwell as one of their guiding lights they took up arms against the heathens. There was a massive shift towards republican leaders that could be swayed by christian voting coalitions.  Now they're strangling the party and, as always, reducing the conversation down to terms like "sanctity, testimony and miracle."  The political trinity of words that suggest all that needs to be said.  They are the words of veiled threat and religious intimidation.  Watch for them.

"The abortionists have got to bear some burden for this because God will not be mocked. And when we destroy 40 million little innocent babies, we make God mad. I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People for the American Way -- all of them who have tried to secularize America -- I point the finger in their face and say 'you helped this happen.'" --(on the 9/11 attacks) -Jerry Falwell

I dunno.  Hearing some of the rhetoric that I have concerning Obama's personal stance in support of same-sex marriage has shed light on an old injury.  My brother responded to me on Facebook saying that, even though he is in support of gay marriage, states actually do have the right to privilege one group by granting them rights and denying others those same rights.  He says that I may see this rejection as arbitrary, but that the state does not.  It can be found in the interpretation of their state constitution, he says.  What could be less arbitrary?

There you have it.  The victory of equality.  Just trust that your state is doing everything it can to do things right, fall back on doctrine when all else fails.  I mean, it's the feds that we're not supposed to trust, right?  Our local like-minded boys have it all figured out nice and easy, just the way it's supposed to be. 

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