The Cub Scouts are fun. We went for a hike through the woods north of here yesterday, chatting along the way about nature. Rhys and his buddy Sebastian will receive their first official badge for the outing. They are well on their way to being fine killing machines. I felt as if I deserved one also, a badge and an official kill. The day started out terribly for me. I had begun having some sort of anxiety issues. I noticed it when I was riding my bike the day before, as if there was something wrong with my body's electrical system. Then, by yesterday morning it was becoming a full blown anxiety attack. I had to resort to the healing powers of chemistry to knock it back, which took its toll over the course of our 100 degree summer day.
There is no easy winning. There are only hard won victories, or loss. I made myself a healthy dose of medical marijuana tea, which has well known anti-anxiety properties, and also ate a few Xanax, which possesses the same. Then, I was ready for a two hour hike in the sun. I brought my Nikon D810, the heaviest and largest of all my cameras, because nothing quite says relax as does five pounds of extra weight strapped to my body or around my neck. I brought the lens that made the most sense to me, 17-35mm f2.8, and made sure I shot close up as much as I could. I'm not a photo-journalist, I just try to do photo-portrait-journalism, always. The thing about photographs that interests me the most, sometimes at all, are the people in them. Few photographs cause me to do more than glance at them, though I find myself more willing to assess a situation in which humans are involved.
When in a museum, gallery, or showing I like to glance at landscape photographs and quietly say to myself, Well, that one is less than Shakespearean, isn't it? It angers the artists, and that's what's needed. Less than agitated artists are useless. They may as well be making nests for birds and selling them at their local craft fair.
Kids can be animated, which helps, sometimes allowing them to be good subjects. Interesting is not always good, but you get the idea. They mostly do their own thing. Sebastian and Rhys are in their shared world when they are together, so it offers the occasional moment of insight into the oddly adrenalized space of childhood.
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