Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Vamos a Ver

(Tinder-Tastic Profile Pic)

Well, the piano tuner arrived and promptly broke a string. It is not his fault, the piano is quite old and the strings are a bit rusted where they coil on the tuning pegs. More money tossed from the train, trying to tempt the cavalry away from our trail. Always, there is the urgent need for escape. That, and then there is the boredom.

The piano guy created what is known as a tuner's knot. I was impressed with this handy fix and greatly preferred it to replacing the string. We shall see how well it holds tune. I play the piano like the percussion instrument that it is. 

I have implemented a new system for washing clothes, one that works equally as poorly as the previous one. I wait until I have no more clothes that I can possibly wear. The shirts are all too small, or have too many holes in them, or they smell; the pants are from when I weighed much more, or even too much less. Socks and underwear are easy: buy more or go without. This system has resulted in me having three completely full laundry baskets, all now awaiting my labor, time, and money.

I tell myself that life would be different if I had a washer and dryer in the apartment, but I know that it is an untruth of the obvious order. The piles would simply have a centralized place in which to form. It would only magnify my domestic deficiencies. 

I need a woman in my life. I know this. I do not mean to suggest this as to have someone to do my laundry. I simply function better with a woman around, in close proximity. Self-reliance is for ugly people, or for difficult people, which is just another form of ugliness.

This imaginary woman would be to have sex with, also. Tinder has produced some patchy results, so far. Something about each of them seems to spin slightly out of orbit. I can only guess at how I must appear to them. I know that women and men assess each other very differently, so we offer different attributes as our most salient selling points. Perhaps my mention of swilling Dom Perignon on the bow of my yacht as my lead-in on my profile page is a bit too cash-forward.

Veremos, mis bellezas, veremos.