Friday, May 29, 2015

How to outlive a rock star

(A constant foe to the bad guys)

Ah, the beginning after the end. Lots of good advice has come in from all sides: a fresh start, brighter days lie ahead, embark on the adventure of a new life, try not to fall in love, give yourself time to heal, let's hide from the bad guys, etc.

It's all true, of course, such helpful advice always is. The last part was Rhys' most recent recommendation to me. We were playing in the courtyard, dashing from one palm tree to another, to foil the plans of the imaginary ne'er-do-wells. 

All truly wonderful advice, though... Little do most of my friends realize that in my new life I will primarily derive joy from drowning kittens in the name of Satan, but their hearts are in the right place and I always appreciate the thoughts, kind words, and even prayers of those who love me most. 

I only get emails from LinkedIn any more, but my Facebook page is on fire.

Today is an ex-girlfriend's birthday. She is 35. We met more than half of her life ago, when she was just a young 17 and I was a spirited 28. I had outlived  Kurt Cobain at this point and was working my way backwards towards Jim Morrison. I have said much about this girl, who is now a woman, many years ago but not as much on this site. My relationship with the current ex-wife acted in a somewhat preventative fashion in that regard. That is the way of things. Wives can engage in a form of personal sharia law. It is unwritten and recited only from the eyes. It is as fundamental as the desert sands, and equally menacing. 

Oh, did I mention...? We signed the divorce papers yesterday. Now, we just wait to hear back from the court. It could be as little as three weeks or as many as five, we're told. For all practical purposes we are no more. 

So, ladies…. my remodeled underpants are now open for business. 

Jesus, that made me giggle. I can't imagine having sex with anybody right now. I can barely remember it. Women feel nice, as lost thoughts so often remind me. 

Well, I can imagine having sex, but can't imagine it being an unpaid reality. I'm sure that it will… I hope... though I can't tell yet if I have raised or lowered my standards. 

You, dear readers, will be the third to know.