Before I came to Washington I cautioned my friend not to be wasteful when sharing wine, that I could not tell the difference between a $30 bottle and a $100 bottle. It turns out that I was quite wrong. My favorite has been in the $250 range, a 1999 Vietti Barolo Lazzarito. Please take note of those important details, you will find that you need access to them before the 25th of October. You will want to contact Chambers Street Wines.
Just say my name three times at the counter. They will know what to do. An unshaven leprechaun will lead you to a unlit basement. Do not resist, his hands are naturally wet and warm.
Neither, do not be frightened by my selection. There are plenty of $100 bottles of wine that can still be purchased for me that I will find acceptable. I am not a monster. I am merely moderate. I will smile, nod, say thank-you and store it in my basement for softening, maturing.
I wish to alienate no one.
I even snuck a $30-35 bottle into the lineup below, to show that I humbly appreciate my heritage, and still love some of the people from my own region, to which I must return today.
I checked into squatters rights for the state of Washington and determined that this must have been the main reason that my friend chose this state to amass his collection; a shrewd but perhaps necessary choice. I have already had all of my mail forwarded here, but to no avail. The Coast Guard has been flying patrol missions over the bay, skywriting their hints, messages, and warnings.
"Take your Oxford Commas home... Hippy!..."
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