I bummed around all weekend, doing lots of nothing. Had Easter dinner with the ex-family, went for a long bike ride, did extra sets at the gym to no use. I walked around the back yard with the boy and my new camera, hoping to capture some of his youthfulness.
We went still bird watching, he and I. We hung the gift of a hummingbird feeder at Mom's house. My apartment parking lot lured no hummers.
The years pass as months, the blur of a time fastly fading. There exists a growing disparity between all of the things ever experienced and the rest of my life, the remainder. As if the elastic of a future that once seemed to stretch before me has now begun its sudden snap back, returning wildly towards the place from which it came.
I sit now and look out my kitchen window, pretending to ponder the used metaphor of life being the trajectory of an arrow shot either randomly towards the sky, to the horizon, or into the ground. It seems that it was, or that it must be, or that it will be. One does not hardly even feel the arc of life until after its apex.
I took the below picture of mi ex-esposa. It's right out of the camera, only with the colors removed from the jpeg. I like the picture quite a bit, but she did not, so I'll post it here at the bottom of this post, where she might not ever find it.