Self-reflection - most suffer too little or too much of it, at all times, save perhaps the moments of love, of open affection. The others are always somehow "doing it wrong." Startlingly, only the other half of the other can see it. Who else can possibly better help the object of your attention and affection other than you, so ideally suited for the job at hand? Or, so it must seem in this climate of perpetual therapy, and the building need for it. Relationships tend to pit ideas and abilities of self against one another, whether likable, lovable, or not.
If you are of that temperament such that you must test yourself against others then you are always in trouble. Nothing quite defines a person like the challenges they offer.
Asking somebody to accept you the way that you are, for the sake of the phrase, is quaint at best. Monstrous, at its recurring worst.
To lack forgiveness, in yourself or for another, only accelerates the rate at which two mirrors advance aggressively towards themselves, resulting not quite in a clean infinity loop, but an enormous sense of distorted feedback either way. Two funhouse mirrors discussing oddness of proportion.
Then, there is denial, the killer of reflections, the painting-over-of, with an increasingly refined secret agenda.
I write these words with no malice or derision, though with much tender consideration. Had I written them any place other than here then some, or one, might just see it as an honest admission.
About whom, we'll never agree.