Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Sinbad and the Cyclops Sailors

(Artichoke Pizza, NYC)

Well, yesterday's post won my readers back. Witches = Good. 

So, today we're going to explore trolls, tomorrow maybe elves.

I get myself in trouble far too easily. I must enjoy digging myself out, or pretending to dig, or something.

In fact, Selavy was explaining that to me in detail this morning while I drove in to the city. He believes my problems are all self-induced, and handily created through eager choice. 

I was trying to choke on a dry donut with nothing but exceedingly hot coffee to prevent asphyxiation while he was detailing my various relationship problems. He blames me for everything that has ever gone wrong, says that it all leads back to me and my inability to correct myself, says that I must enjoy this.

I offered to take him to a 12-step, self-help meeting.

He got off the phone, said he had things to do.

That is the nature of our friendship: confession for one another. 

Not our own confessions, of course. We steadfastly confess the other's faults, rarely missing an opportunity to identify one another's foibles. 

If we weren't able to correct each other from time to time then we would both end up being enormously full of shit. 

We can't have that. It is a thing that is not allowed. 

So, it's ogres and ogresses you want, is it?

Well, to start with, they all tend to have disproportionately large heads...