Saturday, September 20, 2014

Pop Tart!

My new Space Gray 128GB iPhone 6 has shipped. That's the email news that I awoke to. 

That's all I have to say about it.

Not the 6+, nor the 6", for those who inevitably will think I omitted a fact, or overlooked an opportunity to clarify. I was once a technician, so details matter.

Though, I should start a corrections page:

- My Ex has Type I diabetes (edited in post)
- I probably wouldn't buy the D4S (image), the D810 or D750 would do.
- Sinbad wasn't an ogre, nor were his sailors, only the Cyclops was

No, no... that takes some of the fun out of it. 

Years ago, when I used to write a column for an online music website out of Amsterdam, I had a small group of young white men that used to pride themselves in correcting me. That was their claim to fame. It was hilarious, that they wanted that column to be more factual. 

They might have been happiest if I would have extended out the multiplication tables to quadruple digits.

That will be my next project. It will be called a "calculator." 

I'll make an app for the iPhone 6+. You'll also be able to use the digit-pad to make phone calls. 

People will love me for it. My mailbox will be crowded with fan mail.

I am curious what pornography will look like on my new phone. It has retina-eye vision, so it should really be startling, some scenes. 

With the new D-Pro penis-attachment high-def camera we should really get a much better idea of what this penetration thing is all about.

I have always wanted to watch a video that simulated what it would feel like to have my face go inside another person's anus.

As a society, we are very, very close to this collective victory. 

The internet has no higher purpose than the satiation of curiosity for the betterment of mankind, the global eradication of ignorance.

Soon, anybody who wants to know will simply click a play arrow > and their journey will begin.

Life, what a truly fantastic voyage.