Friday, January 24, 2014

Why rape is funny

I don't know anything about Justin Bieber, except that people hate him. They use him as a sort of anti-definition of themselves, a punchline of externalized derision. Whatever he represents, some people desperately need you to understand that they most certainly do not. I doubt that I would be a fan of his music, much, if I ever bothered to listen to it. 

But he does seem to have captured the essence of the American dream, or at least part of it. He is self-made, somewhat; recognized and raised to the attention of others through his own online creations, which appear to be a highly collaborative endeavor; a sensation that arose naturally from his own ambitions; achieved all of this through the democracy of the open market; and has attained astonishing material wealth as his reward. 

Etc., etc.

Yet he must be immensely threatening to grown men. This is often the case when pubescent girls swoon over a young "star" like him. It must be a very, very serious threat to their sense of masculinity to have boys rewarded for being cute. It seems to greatly anger men who also wish to be deemed cute by 12 yr old girls. For what purpose we are left to wonder, though few ever seem to. It's the dishonesty of intent which repulses me most. If these men could admit that they are threatened by Bieber - and attracted to and frustrated by young girls - then I would like them much more. But they can't.

Rarely before have I seen such an outpouring of sexual hatred as I did yesterday, wishing delicious rape upon him during his short visit to jail. 

If only….

One self-identified "Christian" joked about how much he "loves karma," suggesting that this 19 year old boy deserves to be prison raped, where his bodyguards can't protect him. I'm not sure if karma would come into play there, but maybe, somehow.... At least, I don't know what Bieber has done that would invite such a thing. Annoying, perhaps yes. Prison rape as a punishment for this, difficult to fathom. 

This good fellow saw no harm at all in feminizing Bieber, which makes his Christian rape fantasies "safe," I guess, the way god intended. Homosexual rape must be an abomination in the eyes of the Lord. That's why Mel Gibson was partially immune to it when he went off the rails one warm Californian night. 

Only faggots would make rape jokes about Mad Max. Faggots, or liberals.

This same Christian went on to defend Taylor Swift, claiming that she has "values."  I asked what kind of values, and did he mean ones like "karma rape"? It did not seem to occur to him that wishing rape upon a young boy might also incite the forces of karma to act accordingly, and in a reactionary fashion, towards him, if such a thing were even possible.

He must have prayed with his pastor about it. 

Now, I'll admit that one of the funniest things I've ever seen online was Bieber getting hit in the head with a water bottle. But I found this funny for precisely the same reason that prison rape is not, because it was harmless. I watched it hundreds of times, much to the dismay of my overnight co-workers at the time. Each time that the bottle hits, whether in slow motion or not, I am as jolly as Santa, but cackling like the Devil on charcoal.

Perhaps if more men got to witness actual violent male-on-male rape then they might be less inclined to joke about it, or wish it freely upon others. I don't know. I joke about it too, sometimes. But something always catches me, like a hook, when I do. I start to envision the reality of it, where it becomes markedly less funny. It's as if I can hear the echoed begging in the distance, calling from the darkness. 

I mean, if we're going to joke about rape then let's go all the way with it. Implication and innuendo are for fucking pansies. We're no Justin Bieber fans on this blog, mother-fucker!

Rape, rape, we say! 

Let's take the time to envision the teeth getting knocked out, the pleas, the useless attempts to get away, the unexpected whiteness of the buttocks, the enforced group fellatio, the sinister laughing at weakness and submission, the repeated tearing of the anus, of course, the blood which serves as a saving lubricant. 

All of it. Let's be men about this, not sissies that might enjoy a little gang rape here and there.

Perhaps it is the healing power of blood which calms the true Christian mind.

If these things are funny - and they are fucking hilarious, brothers and sisters - then let's laugh a little about young women being raped also, right?

Little girls. Little boys. The helpless everywhere. 

Rape the retarded, while we still can. 

What could be more funny and delightful? The idea of stripping privilege from one who does not deserve it must ignite the impulses of the righteous. The Peter Pans of Rape. 

The Villains of Violation.

I mean, fuck… I'm no fan of Bieber either, but I haven't found a way of subjecting him to the guillotine just for being a kid, yet.

Wouldn't it be fun to rape his detached head? Fuck, I mean… this is what's wrong with the media… When are we going to have beheaded skull rapings in America.  The real news.


I mean, the little half-female fucker has never even had to have a job! If he could just prove to us that he actually spent his own hard-earned money to buy the lottery ticket that put him where he is then I'd be happy to call off the rapings. 

But he can't, can he?  

So, he gets what he deserves. What he did is unfair, an insult to good Christian sensibilities and values. He became rich and famous and young through no effort of his own. His mother is only 37 years old, for fuck's sake. If Bieber gets a girl pregnant next then an average working man like me could be old enough to be somebody's great-grandfather. 

It must be stopped!

Rape is the only answer. 

That, or poverty. 

Or both.

But, real prison-rape first.

Am I Right?