Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Only bacon...


I am a helpless wreck. I spend my afternoons arguing online. Imaginary scenarios involving gun crimes. Silly plots that always seem to favor the bad guys getting shot. The pro-gun crowd is tireless. It is no wonder that they watch so much tv. It must be fun for them to imagine what they would do differently in every scenario involving guns. The only thing that is surprising is how many "bad guys" there still are on the streets, considering the ceaseless imaginary heroic actions of all of them combined. 

Truly, it is crazy, the way they think. 

Have I ever told the story here, when I was shot at in Florida? I don't think I have. Five shots from a handgun. The brother of my girlfriend opened fire on me one night. I still have one of the shells that the cops didn't find in the grass. 

I survived. 

Shit. Now I have to work soon. I've wasted my morning arguing guns, when I could have been writing, or drinking martinis like my old buddy, S.  

I am supposed to go to LA this weekend. I am feeling under the weather a little bit. It happens often when I suddenly get an urge to get back in shape. I deplete my body and get ill. I can abuse it in any other number of ways but exercise is toxic, guaranteed to whither me. Only bacon, with its healing recuperative powers, can possibly save me now. 

"I am not arguing with you - I am telling you." - James Whistler