Tuesday, July 17, 2012

"It is necessary to fall in love..."

(Morten Andersen)

It has been a year since Rachel moved to California.  Next month will be a year for me.  My, how things change.  I'm glad that I left Apple.  Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I got the job at Apple but I'm also glad that I left.  Five years is enough time dedicated to such a thing.  Now I stumble and struggle with what will come next.  It is time to reinvent myself but there seems to be a shortage of raw materials to work with.  Somehow I forgot to put in my order in time.

I keep asking myself if leaving Apple was the right thing to do and the answer keeps coming back "Yes!" so that is something.  Certainty is comforting, even if it is unpleasant job certainty.  Even if it is the daily annoyance of working with the type people that a retail corporate environment attracts.  Maybe one day I will tell the stories, but for now it is still where I get my computers fixed, so.... best to leave it alone.  

"But are there not many Fascists in your country?
"There are many that do not know they are Fascists, but will find it out when the time comes."
-Hemingway, "For Whom the Bell Tolls"

The things we endure for a paycheck and health insurance.  It is almost a "which came first?" scenario, the working or the stress-related illnesses.  Dickens has a few things to say about it.

I've been trying to read but as anybody who has a 6 month old baby will tell you, it 'aint easy.  He's sleeping now, of course, that's the only thing that grants me this time.  

I accepted hundreds of new friends on Facebook yesterday.  I was bored.  That should keep me busy for a while.  There was a stalker who was writing very predatory and threatening emails to myself and Rachel for a while so I just stopped accepting new friend requests, then yesterday I felt like changing something about my life.  Sure, a few new friends on Facebook might not be much but it's much more than I did the day before.    

Whatever.  I was going to write about how my relationship with Rachel has changed in the last year but  everything I thought to say was somber.  It is a time of difficult transitions for both of us.

Cato sent me this quote yesterday: "It is necessary to fall in love... If only to provide an alibi for all the random despair you are going to feel anyway." - Camus

I wonder if alibi is the right word.