Monday, March 26, 2018

I'm better than your Italian grandmother

(Forgive the overhead shadows)

My lasagna is the best. My friends will tout their grandmother's handmade pasta over all else, but they are wrong. You can buy fresh pasta in a roll and it won't have weird grandma germs all over it. Everything that your grandmother can do, I can do better - more pushups, a faster mile (running or cycling), can bench press more, would crush her in the UFC Octagon, and my lasagna is also much better than hers. Mine is even vegetarian - butternut squash, spinach, and a tiny little bit of broccoli - but it's still better that her lame old sausage and ricotta. I have a secret ingredient... 

Cooking: it's where science crushes faith. 

My team is only taking serious challenges right now, please don't waste our time. Any potential challenger must be your grandmother, she must be very serious about making lasagna, and she must put up cash, family heirlooms will not be accepted. 

Disclaimer: our organization is NOT recognized by the UFC.

The lasagna is what we had for dinner last night. Here was my breakfast from the same day, which was of course much better than your dad's (probably overcooked) steak:

So, if you were wondering then, no, I am not losing any weight on my time off. Only two of the three egg yolks stayed whole for the making of those eggs, if you were wondering about that, also. Don't think I was skimping on calories at all. There is half a pan of lasagna sitting in the refrigerator waiting for me to get hungry for lunch. 

Being on vacation is not the time to diet. That is my latest wisdom and I am embracing it, and you should also.