I hear the boy coughing upstairs. I sit downstairs at Rachel's house, waiting for him, them to wake up.
The pressures of separation are starting to show. The other night he was crying at my house, wanting to "go home." It was because Rachel was there. I am certain of it. He is fine when it is just he and I. It must be very confusing for him. We try to explain a parental thing that neither of us quite understands.
He asks from time to time why we don't all live together. These are moments that are rich in opportunity, but the many things that I could say that might be entertaining to me would very likely only confuse him further. He looks to me for truth, certainty, consistency... if you can imagine that. Fatherhood requires a gentility of mind and presence that I somehow never quite had for myself. It is better to develop it late in life than not at all, I suppose.
He asks from time to time why we don't all live together. These are moments that are rich in opportunity, but the many things that I could say that might be entertaining to me would very likely only confuse him further. He looks to me for truth, certainty, consistency... if you can imagine that. Fatherhood requires a gentility of mind and presence that I somehow never quite had for myself. It is better to develop it late in life than not at all, I suppose.
The triangle that would be our family is missing a part, seemingly never to return, comprised of three points and two edges; three vertices, two lines. One pencil mark has nearly been erased. It is an imaginary mystery, wrapped in the incomplete logic of failed love. It flunks the geometric litmus test, somehow too acid and without a base.
The toughest part is yet to come.
So many twigs for such a small nest.
Slip slidin' away
Slip slidin' away
You know the nearer your destination
The more you're slip slidin' away
I know a man
He came from my home town
He wore his passion for his woman
Like a thorny crown
He said, Delores
I live in fear
My love for you's so overpowering
I'm afraid that I will disappear
Slip slidin' away
Slip slidin' away
You know the nearer your destination
The more you're slip slidin' away
I know a woman
Became a wife
These are the very words she uses
To describe her life
She said a good day
Ain't got no rain
She said a bad day's when I lie in bed
And think of things that might have been
Slip slidin' away
Slip slidin' away
You know the nearer your destination
The more you're slip slidin' away
And I know a fa-ther
Who had a son
He longed to tell him all the reasons
For the things he'd done
He came a long way
Just to explain
He kissed his boy as he lay sleeping
Then he turned around and headed home again
Slip slidin' away
Slip slidin' away
You know the nearer your destination
The more you're slip slidin' away
God only knows
God makes his plan
The information's unavailable
To the mortal man
We work our jobs
Collect our pay
Believe we're gliding down the highway
When in fact we're slip slidin' away
Slip slidin' away
Slip slidin' away
You know the nearer your destination
The more you're slip slidin' away
Slip slidin' away
You know the nearer your destination
The more you're slip slidin' away
Mmm...
- Paul Simon
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