Thursday, February 19, 2015

Buy the Ticket

I received my shiny new Home Depot card yesterday. I checked the contract, realized that it's interest free for the first six months, then 27.99% APR after that. So, I dutifully went online and tried to buy some things that Rhys and I need; an area rug for the living room, a Martha Stewart clothes/toy/book organizer for Rhys' room, an $800 Weber barbecue grill.

All combined it was over $1200. 

Something was wrong, though. I tried again and again, there appeared to be something unacceptable with my mailing address. The same address to which they had just shipped the card. I started an online chat with a support representative. No luck. I kept her on the chat while I called the help line. Still, no luck. I instructed the guy on the phone as to what steps should be taken next. Everybody was working in chorus to get this card functioning for me. Finally.... we had the card services people on the line. They had blocked the use of the card without updating anybody as to why. They flipped a switch deep inside the imaginary machine and voila... The gears of industry began to turn towards me.

I have some debt, finally. Between Visa, Target, and Home Depot my soon to be arrears must be close to $1500.

An email came in late last night, the Weber grill had been shipped. It's on its way to the store where it will be assembled. There is some swarthy gypsy that arrives on camelback once a week and does all of their assembling for them. Then, they will deliver it shiny and new to my apartment, where I will be waiting, sitting out on the porch sipping a lemonade with ice shavings.

I am eager to start using my other credit cards also. I have been told that it is good, and right, and healthy, that it will greatly improve my standing among those that assess people for such things. Being debt free is nearly meaningless when it comes to one's credit. To use credit often is what matters most. It seems absurd to me, but if they think it's best that I buy an unnecessarily expensive grill then who am I to challenge their fiscal wisdom. I will be the envy of many of my friends.

There are some issues to modern life that are better left unquestioned. I suppose there were camera lenses that I needed more than a barbecue grill, but one can not only purchase the necessities. 

Moving on. Having a carpet in the living room will be good. Rhys will have somewhere to spill ice cream. Tile is far too easily cleaned. In truth, it is not the best living room for him. Tile floor and a three year old boy combine to result in tears.

We're having an informal father/son breakfast this Saturday. Jordan (Rhys' buddy) and his father, Matt (my buddy), will come over early and we will make pancakes and eggs and bacon and orange juice, bagels with butter and cream cheese, fruit salad. Who knows. We'll be four buddies and we will teach the kids how to live life, by example. Some adventure somewhere awaits us.

Ah, the marvel and bliss of domestic life.

I remember long ago, before Rachel and I had moved from New York, wondering openly what this site would be like after the move. I joked that it would become a review site for Black and Decker hand tools and that one day soon I would have a nice garage. I predicted that all of the weirdness would be programmatically removed from my life after making the great leap.

I wasn't far off. The train is right on schedule.