Monday, August 4, 2014

Rhyszilla: It Takes A Village!

Day one in the city will be spent in Sonoma. Late last night Rachel became ill with a virus, which means that I will be attempting to manage Rhyszilla this morning and this afternoon, hoping not to get sick myself.

I don't know why I expected that having a child would be easier for me than most, but I did. It seems unfair that I must suffer the same difficulties as others, and worse; to sometimes perform poorly, even after practice. So many other things are easy for me, or easier.

The universe tricks me into believing things about myself. 

For some, parenting seems to be the great universal test. There exists an open mania to get it right every possible second. I can understand, everybody's parents were fucked up, or are fucked up. There is a desire to disprove them, distance yourself somewhat from their effect upon you, though within the closest proximity possible.

It's part of what makes holidays so much fun, for visitors, witnesses, etc. 

I notice my age in different ways now. Vietnam Vets will almost treat me as their peer. When the shit really hits, man, it's the guys with the guns who got your back

I look at these crusty old fucks and think, Not a chance. But they treat me like I'm one of the guys. 

Khe San, at Langdok, at Hill 364....

Perhaps I should go back to exclusively doing things that I'm good at.

Rhys just woke up. I must leave this, and other things, unfinished.

I'll be sick by tomorrow.

The congestion is becoming increasingly clear.