Friday, March 18, 2011


Spring is here, though it is not yet clear if it is here to stay.  It could just be a mirage of budding warmth ahead.  It is perhaps just thermal radiation, drifting across.  They say it should last through the weekend.

My wife went to sunny California this weekend where it is expected to rain for three days. She will get back and say that it is now summer here in the city and we were robbed out of spring once again.  There are a few meteorological certainties that reoccur yearly for her.

One is that March 17th is always the coldest day of the year.  This is her birthday. At a dinner party years ago she was forced to put on a scarf when leaving for home and that has turned into an imaginary yearly blizzard that occurs only on this day, quite out of the blue, as it were.  She refuses to leave the apartment on this date without alerting the National Park Service as to our intended course and hike duration.

It is inexplicable. The local weathermen are dizzy with it.

The other climate certainty that she clings to is that spring and autumn only last a single weekend, plainly. Sometimes they pass in a single day, sometimes at night. This phenomenon occurs most often when it is raining. Sometimes the seasonal change occurs midweek, in which we might miss it altogether, or not even notice its passing, so busied are we with occupational concerns.  There exists for her only extreme fluctuations between the dehumanizing heat of summer and the deadly arctic winters in which nighttime lasts no less than 6 months out of the year.

She will be enforcing these weather predictions, advice, and knowledge for the rest of her life. I can tell.  Years from now I can hear her talking on the phone to someone unsuspecting, traveling to New York for a weekend, and she will be warning them to pack the heaviest clothes they have, especially if they're going to be there in mid-March.  It might be necessary to pack an extra suitcase for snow boots, wheel chains, and perhaps a snow plow, a team of sled dogs of course.  She will be arguing with the television that whatever footage they show of spring in the city must be "stock footage" and she's quite certain that a blizzard is attacking the city with unrelenting ferocious forces frozen....

No, I kid.  But she is quite crackers as it pertains to this yearly day-specific weather prediction....

She is my favorite crazed.


I am listening to Roxy Music this morning and eating ice cream.  The wife is gone, to the other side of the country. Do not worry, I am doing occasional pushups to offset the negative effects of the Ben & Jerry's Dublin Mudslide ice-cream....  It was St. Patrick's Day yesterday...

There is no needed, and no known, antidote to Roxy Music.

I have blossomed back up above 200 pounds.  Here is a picture of me watching my calories: