The first snow of the season arrived this morning. Just little flurries that melted on contact with the ground, but it was enough to make clear what was on the way. I will walk to work today rather than ride my bike, to re-acquaint myself with the journey on foot. I will, at least, be able to take pictures as I go, something that I generally miss when on my bike.
Downstairs the car owning citizens of New York as still mad and noisy as hell. I can hear them relentlessly honking their horns at one another. It is the day that the street cleaners come, so everybody must move their car to allow for that, then reposition themselves to get a parking spot after the cleaner has passed, then wait for the time to pass so as not to get a ticket. I can hear the cleaner passing now as I type this sentence.
There is one person in particular who is quite fond of ceaselessly using their horn, the nasally sound of it reflecting as much of their personality as I, or anybody else, would ever need to know, and no more. I envision going downstairs and farting in their window, the disgusting shock of it, the sense of indignation at having been "wronged"... I wish I had a fart ray-gun, able to project a fart over great distances, through walls and windows, directly into the face and nostrils of the offending driver. Or a button that would disable their car horn and give them a minor shock, perhaps only 5-10 times what a static shock from wearing wool socks on a carpet would be, but enough to startle them into the recognition of how truly annoying their jack-ass behavior is, and then there being an aftermath of their car being filled with the smell of a greasy Dorito fart, a smell that would linger for weeks. That is my dream, to have the powers of a human skunk, but with magical accuracy and mysterious stealth.
If wishes were horses, then beggars would ride...
Ok, my friend sent me an email telling me that perhaps I've lived in New York too long, that I feel like I have to repeat everything twice. This was in response to "corruption fatigue" and "confusion fatigue." After re-reading them I suppose he's right. I really didn't clarify very much of what I had already said, I only said it in slightly different terms. So, I must have been right all along.... I win.
Rachel and I indulged ourselves last night with diner deserts and fast-food, something we don't often do. We had to leave the apartment twice to accomplish both of these goals. It was glorious, though it made it difficult for me to fall asleep. I was so stuffed that I was almost uncomfortable. We watched skits from SNL and awaited the relief of sleep... Sleep came, one by one. She woke up and went to the gym. I wallowed in my guilt, waking only briefly when she returned from the gym to see the snow falling and then to fall back asleep until almost noon. Such is the positive medicinal effect of fast-food.
So listen kids.... Take it from ME. I lived through fast-food, but I was one of the lucky ones....
We are head-first back into the work week. I already miss Rachel. We never have any time to see each other. It is always one thing or another. We rarely get a weekend together any more. We had one this last weekend and it went by faster than the first snows melted. All I remember of it, was having different errands to run, a short beer stop, and then some fast-food. The best thing we did together was actually go work together for a while. There was a flower delivery to be made and it required the expert driving skills of a man who is not to be trifled with in a large vehicle on the streets of NYC.... I was the getaway man, waiting in the van, she was the sexy secretary, it was an inside job... I offered to give her a spanking, free of charge.
Partners in flora and fauna.... and crime, and ze spankings.....
She's likely going to demand that this post be removed or modified from its original form....
