Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Between this and that, nothing at all

(We've got spirit, yes we do...)

I knew that just the right article would eventually find me lurking in one of my many news streams, and here it is. Voila'!... I have been thinking about dating all wrong. I need to apply the lessons I've learned from triathlon training to dating, like the result of letting my jacket get caught in the brakes of my bike - sudden stops, road rash, that sort of thing. I've been thinking about this all wrong. I'm going to become a cheerleader for rigorous athletic dating goals.

I am happier when reading dating advice from other serious triathletes like myself than when focused exclusively on politics. Cato still sends me tweets from various people in different states of hysteria about what is happening to our government. There is the question as to whether or not we will ever recover and how long will it take republicans to get rid of their new leader. He will continue to assuage the right's collective political wants as part of his appeasement strategy, for now. But, let's not get too far down that path before we nip it all in the bud. I'm not being apathetic here, I'm just being anti-hysteria. Or, trying to be, anyway. 

Anything less than hysteria does seem to be a less than adequate response. 

I'm with CS, I'm going to start spending money. Perhaps on travel, but who knows. I still look fondly at the advertisement for this lens every single day. The thing is hideously expensive, but I have grown tired of the two older comparable lenses that I currently own. Ever since seeing this ad I have noticed the lenses I own struggle to find focus more than they used to, they look too old to be of much use any more, they are far too familiar to be useful. It is all in the mind, of course, but that's where I sleep, so this stuff matters. A new lens will make me feel differently, cool. I'll only regret buying it if I don't use it, and that's just not like me. 

There is something about working out obsessively that bores me witless even as I enjoy the act when it is happening. There must be more to life than health and well-being, though that and parenting the boy seems all that I am able to focus on lately in my free time. My social life is comprised mostly of waving at other cyclists as we pass on opposite sides of the road, or sometimes honking at people in traffic. 

I saw that my brother posted about it being two years since our father's death. Time sure does fly, until it lands. 

I bet that he'd encourage me to exercise, my dad would, even if it was the last thing that I would ever do. Some days it is only that which constitutes the dangerous difference between being bored and alone, and just being alone.

(No. I went to the gym and now I feel very differently. My happiness is too bound up with daily exercise. I stew without it, become pissy, even when it is only functioning as a diversion from something else of which I am not sure. Perhaps then most of all. What is it about uncertainty that makes me feel this way, the dark fascination and occasional fear of caprice.)