Saturday, August 1, 2015

Because I Like My Sugar Sweet

(Pic: Tony Deifell)

What a tremendously wonderful thing is a loving woman. Life has become miraculous for me again. I want so much with her. I want everything again.

That's all that I have ever wanted: everything. 

Happiness is not very interesting, though. My readership is already suffering its losses. People are staying away in droves. I'm considering breaking up with her just to regain my audience.

I hope she doesn't read here. That would be one less reader. Not sure if I can afford it. It's a Catch-69. That's three Catch-33s for those of you who study such things.

On to more pressing matters, I rented two bikes for Burning Man. Last year my buddy and I went without. I ended up having to dry hump a stolen pony halfway across the lakebed and back in the midday sun. Sounds fun perhaps, to you, but I was in full yet incomplete drag. My mascara was just a dreadful mess by the time I arrived. I looked like a transvestite in an underfunded madhouse, my lashes had half fallen off of one eye. I seemed as if I had spent the afternoon being fisted.

So, this year we'll be arriving dignified. I might even wear underwear. 

Who knows. In this behaved new world anything is possible, and anything is an important component of everything.