(my head just before it eclipses the sun)
The clock that rolls forward does not easily wind back. The gears do not allow it.
Working out is hard. I get more noticeable results from just eating whatever I want, mostly high-fat foods. But the results have become too noticeable. Each time that I say I'm fatter than I've ever been before I'm telling the truth. I would not lie about such a thing. The number is so high now that I am ashamed to post it. I've set a personal record.
I need to lose 75 pounds. Never before, in all of my weight fluctuation, have I been able to say such a thing. But not too many years ago, in my adult life, I was 75 pounds lighter than I am now. Some said I was too skinny at the time. A friend told me that I was getting a "lollipop head." As you can see from the picture above I have an unusually large skull, but at least my nose is not so small that it looks odd. The picture was taken from 30 yards away. I have to sleep in the back yard now, where this picture was taken. I am happiest when floating in a pool, or drinking beer, or below 200 pounds. But that last happiness is still a long way away, like Oprah distance.
I've tried dieting, it makes me moody. Testy.
I've told myself that I'm not going to shave until I lose 10 pounds. Shortly after the picture above was taken I shaved. My face looked fatter than I remember it being. It sagged in most places and seemed to be made of something other than skin, some additional and weighty substance appeared to be inflating from within it, insulating it against fitness.
Okay, I have to start working now. I better grab a quick bite.
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