Tuesday, September 6, 2016

"Everybody hates sugar. Because she's a prostitute."


Those two sentences represent the beginning a book review that a friend's son wrote. She had accidentally bought him the "wrong" book for a reading assignment. The kid is only ten years old, so it's tough to say if it will turn out to be the wrong book or not. The return data has not yet been tabulated. 

Reading those two sentences has made me happier than most things do, or can. Saying them out loud helps, particularly after the first 20 or 30 open office recitals. It is my new mantra. I always wanted a personal mantra with the word "prostitute" in it. No sacred utterance is complete without it.

I take the "Be" off of "Because" also, which helps, cuz. 

Sometimes I'll just repeat "Everybody hates sugar" over and over again. It transports me to my happy place.

Okay, I have nothing. My mind is now cleared of all distractions, including any future sentence that may have otherwise appeared here: