Friday, December 7, 2012

Was Jesus an underachiever?

(still, no new pictures)

A friend arrived last night, an agriculturalist from Oregon, making the most of the changing laws in that state. Soon, perhaps, there will be agricultural opportunities for many. We cooked wonderful steaks on the grille and drank local beers and red wines, discussed the details of the life of a farmer. Interesting stuff. The perpetual struggle of inter and intra-state commerce. 

I will work from home today, then when done, Rachel and I will drive into SF for the company holiday party. It seems there is no escaping the drive any longer. Crossing the Golden Gate Bridge has lost some of its novelty. I spoke briefly with my immediate supervisor yesterday and he hinted at a change coming soon in how often I would be coming into the office. I eagerly await those days.  Each of them will become more mine, by as much as 3 hours or more a day. Less of it will go to the beast of labor - the state that exists just below commerce, sort of. 

The feeling in my left hand is gone. The bottom 2/5's of the hand, the pinky and ring finger, are lost.  They have died on the vine. The nervous system has abandoned them. Oh well. That hand will really feel like a stranger now.

I sat yesterday in the food-court of a "mall" in downtown SF. I was trying to read "Tender is the Night." It was impossible, like reading the penalty-of-law warning attached to a pillow. Just pages of disconnected, useless words. I might as well have been trying to meditate buried in the bowels an Abercrombie and Fitch. I have always understood why people abhor techno, but being at the mall lets you feel the hatred for yourself. 

I read the first chapter twice, none of it remains. Somehow my life never has any peace. There is nowhere that a person can just be left alone, not even in silence, just not harassed by your surroundings. I noticed that this mall didn't have any benches, at all. Nowhere that you could just sit. When malls were first manufactured they were designed to resemble public places. No longer. They would rather have you die than sit down and stop spending, even for a moment. Soon they will charge you to die at the mall also. I was surprised they didn't have a guard at the food court, making sure that nobody tried to enter that hadn't purchased something. Trying to take advantage of the beautiful ambiance of a mall without contributing to it monetarily... Modern life is evil and stupid. One look is sufficient proof.

The upcoming weekend will include many holiday events and functions, christmas parties and christmas tree lightings. We must still buy a tree. I will go and pretend to bargain with the tree killers, because it is what happens in "A Christmas Story." I will whittle them down, eventually settling on a small fortune for a dead tree. It would be easier if I just gave them half the money and have them agree that they'd just throw the thing away for me once it was visibly dead and no longer of any use for seasonal celebration. 

Bah Hanukkah.