Saturday, April 9, 2016

A Vex

The rain seems to suspend everything. It doesn't, which is only the more vexing. It would have some alternative use if it did, existential, if it could.

Bored witless. Yes, it's only possible for a boring person; so, here I am. 

Drove around the valley taking pictures of the green and the gray. Came home, pulled the green out.

There is much to see now, much that I see differently. It is a struggle not to feel as if it is all some less than elaborate fraud, some blatant trick in which the enthusiasm of youth gives way blinkingly to the useless understanding of age. It's not as if the scheme is even very well planned. It can fail in any number of ways, and does. Thinking back today to some of the attitudes and postures I held when I was younger, I am confronted with a piteous sense of hypocrisy. The false virtue of time. 

If I had only not done the things I told myself that I shouldn't do.



  1. I was going to put this over on CS's space - the one where he was arguing with the Theorist but your post from yesterday had some tugging old similarities to the source.

    Something I read (when I was doing nothing but reading Theorists and lots of Barthes - going to bed with major headaches trying to wrap my head around what the fuck this dude was trying to communicate).

    You both have probably already read and digested it but I etch into the ether here anyway for a reminder:

    "The first thing I found was this. What the Photograph
    reproduces to infinity has occurred only once: the Photograph mechanically repeats what could. never be repeated existentially. In the Photograph, the event is never transcended for the sake of something else: the Photograph always leads the corpus I need back to the body I see; it is the absolute Particular, the sovereign Contingency, matte and somehow stupid, the This (this photograph,and not Photography) , in ·short, what Lacan calls the Tuche, the Occasion, the Encounter, the Real, in .its indefatigable expression."

    Roland Barthes, from "Camera Lucida"

  2. I've never read much Barthes, a few passages or essays. He is one of those critics that I missed out on at the time and never had enough academic impulse to go back and catch up on. Great quote though, maybe I should read "Camera Lucida."

  3. I think he was a crazy mother fucker. But I was initially attracted to "The Pleasure of Text."

    I looked for that quote this morning. You can get a free pdf copy of "Camera Lucida."

  4. I bought a copy off of Amazon, along with "Regarding the Pain of Others" by Susan Sontag.