Friday, May 30, 2014

Weepishly Witten

I have been told that I am "too weepy" concerning the relationship troubles that I am having. There were idiomatic specifics involved in the correspondence, though it isn't necessary for us to explore those here. Vulgarisms were present, and by now you must know how I feel about such things, etc.

There is no winning in any of this. I wish that love was still possible, but now Love is all that remains.

Everybody has so much advice, most of it all seems good when you're listening, but then so little of it agrees with other advice given, so I am left with a disparity of opinion, a tossing and turning of the senses.

Follow your heart, say some.

That is what I thought I was doing, My heart wishes to sail the globe, sometimes alone.

Never to back down from a round of giving sound advice... they might also say, But, you know, you have to do what's right for you.

Do I?

When being told what one must do in love it results in perpetual inversion of the marriage vow: Do I?

Is it my heart that has had a change of heart, or does it just want too many things at once, things that are beyond my reach?

If you're selfish then people will remind you. If you sacrifice, and do what is best for another, then people will caution you. If you do nothing and just stare into the abysm that was once your love, then what...?

People will say that you are acting strange. Nothing alerts people to danger as does a white man in love.

Who would ever recommend the following of a heart?

What maelstrom awaits, towards the landing of the next leap.

Just when you are pleased with your leaping, the heart departs.

Rachel and I can both see within Rhys the signs of stress, of not knowing when he'll see me again, or where I am, or why I am bringing him to new places, different places, without Mommy.

Of course, I tell him to buck-up, and stop being so weepy, kid.

You've got your whole whirlpool in front of you....