Friday, June 24, 2011

What happens in Vegas?

I went out drinking last night. A friend was in town from Las Vegas with his girlfriend.  They were at a local bar.  I thought to myself: harmless

It is all that I remember.  

My wife woke me up on the couch this morning. It was 6am.  

I had neither pissed nor feced myself but have no recollection of how I got there. I felt like I had a mouthful of cat litter.

I was waiting by the the bathroom door at the bar.  I farted.  I swear this has never happened before (not the fart, but the next part)... It smelled of vitamins.  I've had vitamin burps before, but never a vitamin fart.

Sometimes I will pretend that by breaking a slice of cheese in two it reduces the total calories.  

I thought there was some rule about having to stay in Vegas.