I went out drinking last night. A friend was in town from Las Vegas with his girlfriend. They were at a local bar. I thought to myself: harmless
It is all that I remember.
My wife woke me up on the couch this morning. It was 6am.
I had neither pissed nor feced myself but have no recollection of how I got there. I felt like I had a mouthful of cat litter.
I was waiting by the the bathroom door at the bar. I farted. I swear this has never happened before (not the fart, but the next part)... It smelled of vitamins. I've had vitamin burps before, but never a vitamin fart.
Sometimes I will pretend that by breaking a slice of cheese in two it reduces the total calories.
I thought there was some rule about having to stay in Vegas.