Saturday, June 4, 2011

Cranial rebellion

Today is a big party. The return of one of our friends from overseas. France.  He went there as a missionary to convert the village pagans to Christ's love. No, that is not what he did at all.  I don't know what he does. He's told me but I wasn't listening. Oh wait, he's in advertising. So I was right, sort of. He converts people. At one time they would purchase one thing, now they purchase another. 

I've decided how taxis of the future should work. Some of them anyway.  They would be driverless.  You would get into the taxi and put your credit card in. It would immediately look you up and see if you were capable of driving. If you were then it would start up and then you could go where you needed to go. When you got out you would park the car wherever you could or pass it off to another driver needing a cab.  If you had left it in a spot and returned back and used it later then you would be charged a convenience fee for the cab waiting for you. This would do away with cab drivers, mostly.  They are miserable people who complain about how much money they make. So why not relieve them of the yoke of their burden?

No, that's not what I want either.  What would New York be without taxi drivers?  It would be like a flattened out version of Dallas. I once read that the Dallas airport is larger than Manhattan.  Since hearing that "statistic" I've often wondered which place is easier to live at.  Is it "at" or "in"... 

Life is a mystery.

Last night I woke up screaming. I was in so much pain that I thought I would have to have my wife call an ambulance.  My neck was really sore yesterday but I didn't think too much about it.  I went to bed and my neck muscles attempted a full mutiny on me.  They decided that they no longer wanted to hold my head up any longer. I don't blame them.  I have a massive head. It makes no sense.  It is much larger than most people's heads that I know. Except my brother. I was walking behind him last week and his hair is greying.  It occurred to me that he looked just like a silverback guerilla.  It was just a massive silver-haired head that lead directly down to his back.  Wait, I'll show you a picture.  

No, I found one but my wife said that I should not use it. She said that he might not think that it's funny.  She is good with stuff like that. Keeping me just on this side of my "other" self, etc.  I don't know. My brother might have thought that it was funny.

So, here is a picture revealing the size of my head.  It's a big one.  It is no small wonder that my neck finally had a full insurrection against it.  

(polaroid by cafeselavy)