Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Fright - n. A sudden intense feeling of fear

There is no end to it.  I know that I have prattled on uselessly about this subject in the past, but I can think of no other thing to write about today. 

The subject demands that I write about it, and it only.

I sit here in my apartment where cars and trucks have all day either driven by or pulled up in front of my apartment building and, for one reason or another, honked their horns.  Some in short electric bursts, others in long wailing unmet demands. All with the same unexpected startling effect.

There simply is no reasonable response that an average person can have to the mind-bolting sound.  No matter whether you are just a pedestrian trying to walk along the street or just a normal man trying to relax and take a nap, or read, in your own apartment.... you are the victim of constant (albeit minor) moments of terror.  

Perhaps terror is too strong a word in this crazed age. 
Fright. Fright is a better word for it.

The horns require response but there is no adequate way for the world at large to respond, and no way to cease the assaulting noise. I wish that a car kept track of how many times the horn had been used and the driver would be taxed accordingly.  It should not be a right or a freedom to make people feel this way. You should be granted a certain number of uses, as would be expected, but then beyond that they're $20 each. This money then goes into a fund that is somehow used to just slightly electrocute the very same people that have been using their horns, when they least expect it.  

This same method could be used with car alarms and obnoxiously loud music being played out of cell phones in public places.  

This post should either be used to immediately grant me the powers of dictatorship, or forever prevent me from assuming them.

Either way, I don't care.  I am your friend.

But I do promise to quiet the world from the unnecessary noise generated by the enemies of peace...

My first act of state would be to question the "cruelty" of beheadings.  I would immediately launch a study to find a way to humanely keep them from screaming as the blade drops, all for the collective sake of peace-and-quiet, the silent struggle.

Perhaps I would use that as my campaign slogan: "As much peace and quiet as any of us can speechlessly stand...."

No, not that.  I am just prepared to give up. I just want to hang a white sheet out my apartment window in defeat, in surrender... begging the world to please let me hide in relative peace. 

"I formally request amnesty, clemency, political asylum, citizenship, and some Xanax. I want to be an American citizen."