I do not wish to write too soon, again, but things seem to be returning to some sense of normalcy in Sonoma, near home. The most dangerous of the fires burning yesterday have been fought back into the woods where they continue to burn, but away from the houses on the valley floor and towards the homes of others.There is just no way to feel good about what has happened. It is all terrible, with much suffering. People are announcing their intentions to return soon, though. We will wait it out in Berkeley a bit still. We have access to a studio apartment whose owner leaves for Japan today. I like Berkeley, though some of the people here epitomize the attitudes and beliefs the most irk me about the west coast in general, particularly the Bay area.
To wit, this morning we went to get coffee and some breakfast stuffs. After placing our order there was a brightly dressed fellow sitting by himself at a table for four in the center of the seating area, doing his best to interact with everyone who came near. He was very nice and doing his best to send positive vibes out into the universe. I heard him telling another man who seemed to be listening only out of courtesy that he was going to meditate to help stop the fires, because we all have the power within us.
That will come as quite a relief to the firefighters up in the hills, I thought, to know that the fire squelching power of meditation will soon be on its way.
And yet, his heart is in the right place, I know that. But still... why must those most filled with the inner strength of spiritual nonsense always export that noise to the rest of us. For the most part I keep my mouth shut, now that I am older, and only let my craziness seep out here on this site. I beg no one to participate and I blame no one for avoiding it. I can hardly even stand reading my older posts. I am tremendously misguided at times when pursuing the illogic of my own opinions, and do not believe internally much of what I do express daily. I am just pushing back against the spirit of the times a bit. I am smart enough to recognize that.
I enjoy meditation. A close friend owns a yoga studio and I wish that I went more often, because I recognize its health and well-being benefits. Of all the people you might know I likely need the healing and recuperative powers of meditation more than most, yet with so many things, I am skeptical of those who push it on others uninvited at coffee shops. It feels as if they are sharing a debt of their own rather than helping anything or anybody. It's like those who need to announce their liberalism online, it seems suspiciously self-serving in its affirmations.
Then, I write about my feelings here for anyone to read... A very minor difference, I know, but one that matters to me, and since mine is the voice I am trying to transcend while meditating, that is the voice I'll focus on silencing - my own.