Thursday, October 13, 2011

Inguinal Orchiectomies for everybody...!!!!

(Guatama Buddha awaiting his grilled veggies)

A working bbq grille is a wonderful thing.  Getting it to that working state is an obligatory journey through the pit of damned souls.  

I don't understand how anybody that works at a bbq grille company even has a job.  I think it should be illegal for any company to release a grille that doesn't also produce a publicly available video, posted on youtube, of the CEO putting the hideously unplanned thing together.  

If this were put into law then the world would be a different place, a much better place.

I'll keep this short and only give one example of the utter incompetence that keeps America from rebounding in the industrial world.... I will never look at the bumper sticker "Buy American" again and feel the same way.  If this is good-old-fashioned American ingenuity then I'm glad we don't have a manned space program any more.  

The sticker should read, "Bye, American!"

I don't even think we should be able to play with firecrackers on The 4th... We are just far too dangerous a people to be handling explosives.

So, my example:

There are instructions that come along with the grille, sensibly.  The instructions reveal the need for 28 flanged nuts. The screw pack states there there are 24 of these nuts included. When I counted them there were only 22 provided in the pack.  This is not a lie.  I am currently a computer technician and reasonably proficient at assembly and disassembly of various types of hardware.  I am adept at following printed instructions, etc.    

When I become dictator of the world I am going to have every employee of this grille company undergo voluntary inguinal orchiectomy, starting first with the engineers, of course. That is if they actually bothered to have any engineers actually work on this product, a hopeful but unlikely thought. Company records should reveal the names of the soon-to-be-ball-less guilty.

We'll roll out this new program in the Spring, just in time for the new line of grilles....