No more crazy talk. That is my new mantra. I have been repeating it all morning. I know that a mantra probably shouldn't have the "z" and "t" and "k" sounds in it, but what can one do really? Once one is verbally committed to transforming then one must follow their inner-instincts, the logic of the soul must remain unfettered by actualities.
I must be hurtling towards a spiritual movement, a revelation; as if I'm in a taxi rushing cross-town, heading Aum...
No. I am rushing but just to keep up with the life that is suddenly forming around me. As we prepare to move to the west coast suddenly there are thousands of things that need responding to that had been, up until this point, fine as they were. Nothing is no longer fine where it is, where it was. All things need tending to. The focus is on where they will be. There is a heightened sense of all things in life. A sudden need to attend to things.
Something very strange has been happening to me lately... I am a very prompt person, very rarely late. It is a strange quirk of character. Because those who know me, and my other eccentricities, would not normally guess that I'm prompt, it's counter-intuitive. But I have missed 3 doctors appointments in the last 2 weeks. I won't bore you with the details but I must assume that each instance was my fault. It has left me dumbfounded. I'm either there on the wrong day, or at the wrong office, or just unable to get out of the door of the apartment in time to make the appointment. Suddenly it is as if all things need my immediate attention where they could go years, perhaps forever, without my attention before. So I keep making the new appointments and then missing them.
Perhaps I am on the verge of spiritual awakening... Perhaps this is what it feels like. How would I know, really? My soul dropped out of high school and never went on to get its G.E.D. It is the black sheep of the family. Or would that be black lamb? See! I'm not sure. I have an underdeveloped soul. It started smoking at a very early age and it stunted its growth. It was susceptible to advertisements for cigarillos. Only recently has it started drinking coffee. But that was just to make up for lost time.
Ok, my wife just came home. I must return to the world of normalcy.
(Seanvard Munch, pronounced "munch")