Wednesday, March 4, 2020

Big Trouble

That kid that you see above is in big, big trouble. He became angry with mom yesterday morning, after I left for the city, and threw a baseball inside the house, breaking a terrarium she had made that was hanging in the kitchen. So, now he's on lockdown - no screen time, no baseball practice, no playdates, no bike riding, no fun

I added him as a beneficiary to my 401k this morning. You just never know. For tax reasons, I should probably replace him with mom on all of that stuff. I normally have mom do all of that. Yes, I know... I should be responsible for my own life, but it bores me. I have never aspired to be an administrator or manager or principal or an executive of any kind. I hate even asking a person where they want to eat. Even the thought of asking a group that same question angers me as I sit here. The only time that I've ever liked groups is when they were cheering for me. 

CS recalls a similar fondness for fledgling stardom this morning. There's my one true sentence.

It is better to be cheered than to be ignored, better to be remembered than forgotten. Better to live than to die.

Better is better than what is worse. That is my koan. 

Jesus. I just ran out the door to pick the boy up and take him to baseball practice and then to the store to get some dinner. I had some thoughts and observations during that time that I was going to note here, but they have slipped my mind. I am a man of that age

I did, however, ride my bike today. It was the first time in months. I have been getting fatter and drinking more, so my guilt pushed me into activity. It was a glorious day for a ride. There was that, which was good, and was enough, and was better.