Well, it is perhaps somehow a good thing that I am writing here, because Raquel is reading. Or, I should learn to shut up about personal relationship matters. Today she started using the word "we" when asking what was going to happen with the car. Relationships are never fair, but they shouldn't be so unfair as to cause resentment, either. The best relationships I've been in created a natural state of mutual generosity. Many of them are that way for others, also. Though somehow each partner can still be left with that feeling. Everybody deserves more, yet more brings trouble.
It made me feel good that Raquel reframed the dilemma as being a mutually shared one. Nobody likes to be left alone, during times of trouble most of all, no matter how minor.
She did ask me if the accident was my fault. I had to explain that, no, when you get hit from behind it means that the other driver was not in control of their car and was not able to to stop in time, which is never your fault. She wanted to still find fault in me for having been hit. Women, etc.
Onwards and onwards and onwards and upwards.
"I was sentimental about many things: a woman's shoes under the bed; one hairpin left behind on the dresser; the way they said, 'I'm going to pee...'; hair ribbons; walking down the boulevard with them at 1:30 in the afternoon, just two people walking together; the long nights of drinking and smoking, talking; the arguments; thinking of suicide; eating together and feeling good; arguments; the jokes, the laughter out of nowhere; feeling miracles in the air; being in a parked car together; comparing past loves at 3AM; being told you snore, hearing her snore; mothers, daughters, sons, cats, dogs; sometimes death and sometimes divorce, but always carrying on, always seeing it through." - Bukowski, Women
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