Raquel just left to get coffee. We have the new coffeemaker, of course, but we must have forgotten to trade the family cow for the magic beans. She is a very good woman who tolerates me, and even seems to understand parts of me for moments at a time.
I'm not sure what I believed that love would be at this age, but I should relax and accept that this version of it is probably the best I'll ever have. Or, the most stable, at least. What did old Jack Nicholson's character say to Helen Hunt's character? What if this is as good as it gets? The subtext being that she should learn to accept the neuroses of the male lead. Not exactly the leitmotif of that movie, really. It is its main message: find a desperate woman who will endure you and save her child. Ah, the tender tickle of romance.
I have been joking a bit about equality lately. That is the ideal that should be strived for and what all people deserve - equal opportunity and equal protection under the law. That is how I tend to vote: for the candidate or party that seems to offer the promise of that as the more significant part of their platform. Beyond that, there is very little that I can do. I have come to accept the fact that I am not an activist. My only cause is to be left alone. I've reached the age where I am just tired of being told what can and can not be said or thought, by people who seem to have spent very little time thinking and an enormous amount of time talking.
I have an activist in my life now. They constantly interrupt every person that is talking, then will take long pauses after interrupting others to think about what they're going to say now that they have the floor. I desperately want to throttle this person. The opportunity has not yet presented itself. Social distancing, etc.
As much patience as people have wasted on me, and still I have so very little in that regard to offer back. I am too similar to Jack Nicholson's character in that movie, except without the lifetime of success and the money. I have the acute disdain for others down pat.
It has been some time, too long a time, since I have said or written anything beautiful.
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