Only children

My mother was an only child.  I trace some of my sensibilities back to her, sensibly.  I sometimes wonder if perhaps I was born to exclusively love persons of this pattern, of this singular frame of mind, of this lone scaffold.  Many of my girlfriends have been only-children.  My mentor since my teen years, also an only-child.  My lifelong best friend, Z, the only-oldest-child in her family.... which, by her standards, qualifies as "only"...  her sisters seem to concur.  Her husband, a dj, the onliest there ever was.  Being a dj is akin to being a comic-book superhero, orphaned and supernaturally destined for two dimensional fame: a vague narrative and strictly serialized life.  I want to do a VH-1 series on 90's "rave dj's" called, "Where Were They Then?"

All dj's are only-children.  It is science.

Everybody I've ever loved has acted as an only child, me most of all.

Only Catholics, perhaps, have acted otherwise, or Jews.  Jesus, him too.  Bono. Bonaroo. Coachella. Lollapalooza.  Iggy Pop, does he have siblings?  Dear god... no, please no....

All famous people act like only-children, and all only-children act as if they're famous.  Another of my best friends is also a dj.  Of all of the children I know, born among many, he is the most only-child there is, or ever was, or will be.    

Our dog, Barkley, surely must consider himself an only child.  If not one step beyond that... somewhere between only-child and lone offspring of man.  I know that he looks at me with deep and lasting suspicion. He dreams of chewing my eyeballs from their sockets while they make squeaky sounds.  I know this... 

Right now I have an only-child wife, sometimes acting like an only-child-child, carrying an actual soon-to-be only-child.  Some conundrum...


I've read that it's all myth though... the only-child syndrome, that there's no truth to it.  It's like bizarre behavior on full-moons, it's only anecdotal. They've tested a variety of traits and found that only-children rank no higher or lower than others.  It's difficult to believe, but again, it's science... so, who am I to question?  It's not as if I form relationships once I've found out their family history.


It is my suspicion that we are all only children, connected by cosmic need, that many mistake for a universal "one-ness"...

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