(Wrigley and Akira)
I have this little sliver of freedom, in a sense. I am "on call," but I have the house to myself for a few hours. I just put the boy in a friend's car and watched him drive away for a Cub Scout hike. It is still sometimes a strange feeling seeing him go anywhere without mom or myself. Today is his third leap year. He was born in Jan. of 2012, so he lucked into one right away. I have 13, mom has 12, though she would probably not have me advertise any facts or clues.
I have been looking through old nudes of mom. Or, I was a few weeks ago. Sally Mann talks about the standard of preserving a person's "essential dignity" in any portrait she makes. I believe that I have done that. Though I did not discard of all of the images that were not flattering, either. I kept all that I could, and find some of them to be nearly unspeakably beautiful. Or rather, speaking of the beauty would be superfluous.
Okay, I am now going to read Atomised by Houellebecq for a few hours. CS suggested Whatever, which was great and dark and funny. So, now we have a book club. He's reading some other book by him right now. I should order a new one. I might finish this one today. Reading great writing used to encourage me to write, now the discouragement of it is exhausting.
(Ibid)
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