Wednesday, October 30, 2019

I should do other things

I should be preparing for a meeting that I have in 20 minutes, needed a cigarette break. Don't smoke, just wanted one. Smokers are funny. They all have some curmudgeonly leanings. Or, perhaps in a woman I would frame it as charmed insouciance. You get the idea - aggressive or demure disregard. It squirms so well in youth. 

I have eaten terribly for two days now. Truly. Fast food, etc. My body is rioting as I write this. 

I am expected to present information in a meeting soon, I think, and I have prepared nothing. I can usually talk off the top of my head and make things up as I go, but today I am feeling despondent. The other day at work I became nervous while speaking and got a little bit choked up. That didn't stop me from speaking, as it should, but rather I tried to fight through it, and lost. 

I just realized my meeting is in another hour. I should spend that hour preparing. Like Batman, I feel as if I am about to retire also. Has he used the word retire yet? I'm not even sure. It sounds foreign. 

I really should brush up on terminology. Understanding the terms is critical to this thing.

Ok, fuck it. I have to go.

Batman knows that I am kidding. We are different people. That comes as an occasional shock to both of us. Neither of us has much of a secret identity left, after years of writing here and there. 

Speak for yourself, Batman might say, ironically or not.