Thursday, March 28, 2019


I want to import a shitload of alligators to California. I know they'd do very well here. For a while. I have faith. The doubt has fled. I dream of massive semi-tractors filled with the prehistoric beasts, slithering and snapping at one another and the dumb cruelty of their situation. Four days across the country without being fed. You'd be sure to have a hearty population remaining. The heartiest. I'd spread them around in the local lakes at night, always trying to pair them up together as male and female. Nothing hateful, just thinking about population more than individual gator needs. I'd scatter them about like they were Starbucks stores. Where the popular lakes between would become gator territory just by being caught in the middle of a plan. Clustering. 

This is why I never make any money. These are my business dreams. I do pretty well in the stock market.