The struggle for me, it seems, is the recognition lately that I only get to be one person, to live one life. For the last couple years I thought my gripe was aging. Aging just exposes the singularity of it in a seemingly unavoidable sequence of realizations. Much of that awareness arrives around a certain age. Though I'm confident there will be more.
Of course, I'll be okay now that I have defined the problem. Or, so goes the perpetual suggestion of the armchair analysts. People believe that being able to articulate your pain also relieves it. It can, but it's not an assured consequence. It's mostly only when the suffering can be given new form by transmuting it towards the creative impulse. Easily said. Are you suffering now?
You are so brave and quite I forget you are suffering. - Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms
Well, moving on... The trick is to try and avoid meaning.
Not to try it and avoid it, just try to avoid it.