I have my life figured out. I'm going to start a consultancy to give advice to people who haven't paid their student loans. It is an easy gig, there is really very little to say... the laws are changing but you must pay, so start paying. I wonder how much I could charge for such a thing. I wonder if you need some sort of license for this. I'm hoping not. I will be the sage of students loans, dispensing advice to all those willing to pay. My message will be uniform in nature, so as to appeal to their young minds....
I have contacted the holders of my student loans and they advised me of a little known portion of the agreement that allows for astonishing collection costs. They directed my attention to the back-side of the promissory note, towards the middle, in fine detail. Now, of course, this portion of the agreement is there specifically for delinquents, of which my reputation is well established in this regard.
So now I must deal exclusively with the collection agency, but they are reasonably easy to keep at bay with regular monthly payments. They truly are "paper tigers"...
I will keep my overhead low and pass on the savings to my clients. Of what use would an office be with such an easy profession? I could simply perform my duties from a cell phone from any given location. They would call me, hoping for some obscure legal way out of the mess they've landed themselves in and I would remind them that they DID agree to these terms, and they were supposed to have gotten an education through this arrangement, now pay up, and, "Stay out of Malibu, deadbeat!"
What fun. I will charge by the second...
