Nattering

It's Sunday, and why the fuck not? I know how much dog pictures are loved by the readers of this site. I know exactly how much. I'm a sucker for the beginning and end of the film roll shots. The Nikon FM3A let's you shoot the entire roll, which is another thing I love about that camera. Best manual film camera I've ever shot with. Just ask Barkley the wonder pup. Well, maybe don't ask him - he's been deaf for a couple years. He turned 16 years old this week. 

Today is an all-day lacrosse tournament. I'll have to decide if I want to stay for the entire thing. I'll bring a pseudo-sports camera and lens (Nikon D810 w/ 70-200mm f2.8), so I'll have a way to keep myself busy if I get bored. Oh, it's going to rain all day, so I'll have the added excitement of protecting the camera and lens. Maybe I should just sit in the car and read a book. 

Jesus, if I would have just "said" all of that "out loud" in my head I would have bored myself to sleep.

Rachel just came in and asked if I'm writing on my site again. I had thought she was already reading here because there was an odd shift in temperature and tone one day after I wrote of my disappointments. Once again I get to arrive at the conclusion that she really doesn't listen to me, or read what I write, or etc.

Sometimes I worry that one day soon I might look back at my life and think that I worked too hard, even though I've barely ever tried. 

I've bought enough studio gear that I'll be putting together a home studio soon. I am more excited than anybody else about this, of course. I am occasionally good at producing, believe it or not... I'm not only a chatty, absent-minded memoirist. I work best when I'm with making music other people. Some things are best done in solitude, but for me producing music isn't one of them. The costs of building the studio keep escalating, though, bit by bit. 

I worry that one day soon I might look back at my life and think that I've squandered too much, even though I've barely ever tried. 

Addendum: The lacrosse tournament was during one of the strangest days of weather I've ever seen, and I lived in Florida for 30 years. The first half was a deluge with dark, low-hanging clouds across the entire upper visible meridian. No light, but rather darkness visible. The entire fields were under an inch of water.  The games continued. The weather app said that there would be sunshine in one hour. A coach and I both agreed there was no chance of this. It looked like the rain would continue without cessation for months. As soon as the coach and I had agreed Rhys and I started walking to the car, to sit in the heat. We got the heat going right away, the boy and I saw a crack of light along the horizon. The sky was completely blue without a visible cloud within thirty minutes. I'd never seen the edge of a storm pushed so thoroughly out of view. It was a miracle from Mother Mary that I wanted to share here with you. 

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