I need a new hobby, and space to practice it in. The old hobbies and habits are wearing me down. Not drugs, though somehow I still do a form of those almost every day. People do a lot of things in life that they never thought they would. Getting older doesn't automatically stop you from being weird, or seeking a cessation from pain. You just end up being less public about it. Partially because nobody cares, except maybe your employer. Perhaps even those days are now lost. People become private, yet all is exposed, everyone an advertisement. Solitude is for when people stop caring about you. In another time and place I might have been lost to an exotic drug. Instead, this.
Everything is destined to disappear. Nothing remains.
.