Friday, February 19, 2021

Time of the Season of the Witch

I bought a new Dyson vacuum cleaner, also. That does not appeal to me as a subject in the way that the watch does, but I'll give it time. As a symbol, the vacuum cleaner sucks. What could be more domestic than a vacuum cleaner. Every object can be a symbol, if you attach it to an accessory and use it to clean the carpets and wood floors.

So much in my life right now is causing me grief of one kind or another. Being the boy's co-teacher with Raquel every day has worn me down, and it has not done anything noticeably better for the boy. He is tired of it, I am tired of it, yet it must continue. A parent can not signal to their child that education does not matter. 

California lets teachers decide when it is safe to return but the decisions must be unanimous. All that it takes to keep every child at home and away from their other classmates, and the fledgling social circles they are forming, is for one teacher to express concern over health and not wish to return to in-class learning. It would somehow be too accusatory if they were to just let that one teacher stay home while other classes resumed. Imagine the feelings of being shunned that they might feel at such a system. It is always the system that is to blame. That is, in fact, what I am doing right now: blaming a system. 

Systems pulled mankind out of the feces they had been eating for 100,000 years and sent us to the moon, and now Mars, but we are reminded that they are inherently wicked. No good ever seems to come from them, as they generate inequities. The family is a system. No children born into one ever achieve at the same rate. The solution to this is obvious: never have more than one child. The system of family produces inequality. 

Coming out of the experience of this last year I may not have the same tolerance, or show the same support, for teachers that express how overworked and underpaid they are, even though I know that to be true. The one does not invalidate the other. Though knowing is not the same as feeling.

There are other things that are bothering me - money, work, love, sex, etc. 

I did not come here to rant, and I hate that I am. My mind is cluttered with thoughts that do not suit me. 

A suit, maybe that's what I need, to match my new watch.