Sunday, May 5, 2019


Upon recovering my iPhoto libraries and scanning through old pics I have found a handful that are among the most precious and beautiful things that I have. Making babies is something special. It is a form of public intimacy - the evidence of a known secret that is as yet unrevealed. 

The images are a series of her as she was becoming more and more pregnant. The one above was in NYC, the one below about three days before the boy was born, in Sonoma. They are incredible things, for me, both sensual and complex. I took them quickly and without much concern for technique, which haunts me now, though even some of the ones that are blurry have a special charm, a paired innocence with the subject. The blur seems to remove any lingering erotic intentions or purely documentary purpose. The ones that are in perfect focus seem somehow too explicit, too well lit, too literal. I would show more here but most of them are nudes and Raquel might not sign off on them as being too unflattering. Though of course she could not possibly be any more wrong. You can't tell a pregnant woman that, or much afterwards either. I have learned that you should make a woman feel beautiful, but carrying a baby can impede most any efforts.

I would do it all over again, twice or thrice. The images roam around as magic inside of me. They are mysterious and powerful, incantations that come back to tempt. 

That's my morning truth: I like getting her pregnant.