I have an odd foreboding that something terrible is going to happen soon. Something more, or something else. It is the feeling that something is going to happen to me... I have been filled with anxiety and dread; laughing less, sweating more, unable to relax. So much so that I had to stop drinking. I mean alcohol. It was pushing me towards madness. Into the maelstrom.
A friend passed away last week - an accidental heroin overdose. Or, that is the best information I have about it. I saw him recently in NYC. We had reconnected a little bit and had been sharing music back and forth. He was a nice, sweet guy in a dark world. His death surprised few people, though it filled many with sorrow.
There is not much difference, for me, between a suicide and an accidental overdose. They are a little bit different, I guess. One is an accident.
I recorded a song the day I heard the news for him, a favorite from Daniel Johnston. You may have to download it to hear it. Since Google's platform won't let me upload an audio file to this service, I've used one of their other services to trick them into doing what I want. They'll probably put this post behind a warning wall, community standards being what they are. Where would we be without a community?
I don't have very much else to say. I am feeling disquieted. Thinking that if I did die in my sleep I wanted to say something first. Can you believe that this was it. This was really it.
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