I told you that I had run out of pictures. I wasn't lying. Why would I? This is one of my favorites from the past. It's been up here before. Perhaps you will remember the shadow on the wall.
If I could go back I'd do it all over again. Making a baby was fun and exciting and scary. But that's not what you come here to discover. You already know that.
My body feels broken. I have had a terrible case of insomnia for many days now. It makes everything feel broken and brittle. Last night I only slept a couple of hours, maybe three. It's hard to tell since my mind races and I can never tell where it stops. It all just becomes a dark noise. I awaken and look at my phone, hoping that it tells me a miracle. Last night no miracles arrived. I've been up and working since 2am. It's not as if I've been very productive. I've made as many mistakes as I have had successes. Both have worn me out and I take joy in neither. I've responded with edginess towards most.
Everybody has suggestions - read a book, get a sleep mask, leave your phone and computer in another room, sleep with your hands above the covers, wear two pairs of underwear, most of all don't overstimulate yourself. Nothing works.
Now I await. The sun is sinking behind the creek. We'll see about it darkness.
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