I think I'm losing my mind. In fact, I'm pretty sure that I am, or have. I have lucid moments. Those become the most terrifying. The recognition of ephemeral clarity. I've stopped caring about many things, or have begun caring disproportionately about minutiae.
I've returned to sleeping in the nude after many years of sleeping in boxers. There is something slight but oddly liberating about it. Even under most emergencies I would need to put on pants anyway, so it's still a sensible thing to do. It reminds me of being young again. It was Rachel that encouraged me to ever wear underwear in the first place. Something about going renegade seemed to go against her sense of propriety.
Jesus, that was such a very long time ago. Maybe it was before Rachel. I don't wish to unfairly tarnish her legacy, her tenure. I can't remember any more.
I'm considering buying a used D4S and returning my D810. The price is right, and it is much closer to being the camera that I wanted. Though, I do like the images that come out of the D810 (above and below).
Later today, the boy and I will have an adventure. We will go into the city and spend the night with a friend. Something easy, to get away. It is all that I used to wish to do. Well that, and to never wear underwear.