Saturday, June 6, 2015

Call Me Evilyn




("front-and-back zip fasteners")


One can simultaneously support the LGBT communities and still wish everyone to shut-the-fuck-up about how presumably courageous Caitlyn Jenner is. There is absolutely 0% chance of anybody considering me courageous for making publicly known my sexual or gender preferences. So, shut up about hers. Please.

I do it all of the time right here, expressing certainties and ambiguities, so I know this to be substantively true and verifiably accurate. 

Though, if I surprised everybody with a socially motivated and politically preferred announcement that no one had ever expected... then I might be hailed as courageous also, perhaps by 5% of the people that I personally know. Nothing more.

However, if I said something as commonplace as, I find most budding young girls to be sexually attractive, and I also think that the most natural thing in God's world is for me to lie with them in the biblical sense, to assure their eternal purity, and bring forth life into this world as part of God's wonderful plan…  …well, then I would be denounced, even if I admitted that I only wanted to father them just a little bit as a woman, or even mother just as much them as a man.

No amount of taping my cock underneath a one-piece bathing suit will change this. 

This site is about me, not Caitlyn, etc.


I know what some of you might rightfully be thinking : Caitlyn's announcement had only to do with herself, not with the filthy sexual desires of the middling man whose site you are now simultaneously hating and yet reading. You would be wrong, because I found Caitlyn to be a very handsome older woman, and that is part of what she was announcing: herself as a newly formed sexual object. I should also have access to this right, as should all. 

Why don't young girls get to announce this persona with the same applause and support? If the "problem" is society's constraints then shut the fuck up if a 14 year old girl wants to be fucked by all of her teenage neighbors, rather than she merely wants to get a spot on tv to be a different sex, or gender, or anything else. Don't let the applause stop at the upper limits of your own silly morals, because that is not real applause, and you are no more capable of recognizing courage than a predator is to spotting prey.


What people seem to confuse is the difference between being special and announcing your speciality as an act of courage. These same people might tell you that we are all princesses and princes, if you just listen long enough to the voice of Disney and you so choose to change.

It's a small world, post-op, after all.

Freely squirt your fantasies of sexual courage, fame, and affluence up onto and across Caitlyn's face, and throat, and tender titties, stomach, and pussy-area. This is where your courage warms to life, no matter gender or sex. 

Give it a try: Look, look, look, then demand.

If Vanity Fair had half of a pair of balls then the back cover would have shown Caitlyn's equally receptive backside, with a taped bulge. Never forget how cowardly that publishing decision was. It was never even discussed, only thought about and perhaps lightly joked en referencia amidst the hallways and offices of such fair vanities. 

I take nothing away from Caitlyn, here. She knows this. 

I declare... she puts the i right back in Cat, and runs the two Bruces through the victory tape.

Annie Leibovitz would absolutely hate me, because I lack the requisite fame that is needed for her camera shutter to function so well and so often as it does. She has half the pirate eye of Doctor T.J. Eckleburg. I want to do a private retrospective of her work called: Davy Jones' Liquor



Jon Stewart got it partially right, as he all too often does, by assuming the sanctimonious stance that Caitlyn's decision exists in some untouched media bubble that we can only use to denounce those who notice or respond , but to subjectively hold above notice all those who place themselves in front of the lens, unless they have suffered in the way that all true liberals prefer…. 

The real crime is watching anything other than Jon Stewart. Stewart's team mind is a powerful pair of binoculars that has loosened its middle hinge and its single uniting, binding screw; which then allows itself to look closely or look away with equal impunity. 

Scrutiny is best performed with a single eye. So, it's always best to have two.


Caitlyn Jenner wants to be recognized and treated like a woman. She needs this, it relly shows. I noticed this, and I hope that you did also. She has a very delta-esque package, filled with known and unknown olympic wonders.

Her next shoot will show a tear or two, because , you know, real boys don't cry, real girls always find a smile.

The first word that went through my mind when I saw her cover of VF: Mommy.


Were we supposed to ignore her, or notice her? I can't even tell. It seems a crime to do either in the wrong way. Stewart acts and speaks as if we only get to notice his way of eyeballing, think with his way of mindfulness, respond one liberally-way, together, now, or else… 

We are in league with all the evil doing that is manhood itself - forgetting, as magically as science, that in some ways Caitlyn is also still a man, rambunctious in his public announcement, like a boy or man in drag. Not one person has praised the strength of his manhood. That is what I hope is remembered from what I am saying. He is also now showing, and always has, the same courage he did as a man. So, please, dear…. Either praise Kanye, or admit to something so ugly we'll both leave it ill-described. 

Would it be just as "courageous" for him to speak as a man now? What if he wears men's clothing next? 

Is that the same victory Jon Stewart knows how to respond to. I'm confident his writers would worm their way through a jest. I know that I could, if pressured into a pair of shorts.

Imagine there's Bruce Jenner: "It was too difficult to be a woman. I found that I loved the swimwear, but walking in heels was like a decathlon in Spring. You know, I am a woman, an athlete, and also somebody that goes to Jamba Juice." 


What acclaim might meet him then... Courage, Honesty? 

We are equally asked to show honor for activist women who have denounced the very things that Caitlyn has now embraced. 

Does Caitlyn mean that feminism might somehow be flawed?


What are we to think of such things? Agenda alone can not be the impetus of our conversation, unless both speakers are sharing the cover of the same magazine. Again, Kim and Kanye are in perfect league with Caitlyn, at least as far as Vanity Fair assesses social meaning. If you disagree, then your thoughts are like milk, they expire monthly.


Little matter at all that we consider Caitlyn's manhood. To do so now shows the same sort of brutish indelicacy for which we must all light torches and bang on village on doors. This perennial Hollywood Halloween only seems to suit those who choose to celebrate, most often on days well outside of late October. 

I am also among the throng of peasants, yet sometimes wear the panties of a gang of terrified torch-bearing townspeople. A seasonably fresh semi-cotton pair, but a pair that is not afraid of burning a witch or two, here or there, when the Daily calls.

Stewart regularly exploits gender and sexual differences as the common subject that he is pretending to explore. Don't get me wrong, folks… I'd rather be a camera than a nail, yes I would…. He makes some very powerful and salient points about what it means to be a woman in America. He does not further the discourse in anyway, however, he merely uses that found dialogue to make himself seem superior to it. 

Who can't do this? Anybody can watch the news and say, I doubt that. He attacks the correct demons, and giggles along with the preferred gods. Wouldn't you, too?


I will miss Stewart in almost the exact same degree that I will not. Very few people are as good at what he does. None are as smug and filled with such self-assured self-importance, yet also few with as much grace, wit and deftness of skill. If smugness were a crime then most of you would have had me arrested long ago. 

His agenda... his forced media giggle is false, pretentious, annoying, cloying and… well, I'll just stop there.   

I'll almost stop there: He denounces what it means to be a woman in America in the Caitlyn clip linked above - while forgetting and dismissing his usual patriotism for the time being - he must have slipped in his remembrances of how much he admires the struggles of women outside of America. he never stops to notice the difference between victory and failure when it comes to expression, he only notes that other's reaction to expression is somehow always wrong. 

He's a very useful, three-faced twat. Nope, that's not even right. He's like most ideologues: no currently achieved values will ever reach his. He lives in the temporary joys of doubt, disbelief, and the television light of scrutiny. 

If every dad ever trying to espouse their dogma - at the dinner tables of the America that he so wishes to better - had the same sharp team of writers that he does, then maybe, just maybe... his repeated canon would pop off just like dear old Dad's…. seemingly well studied, until you realized that he was always moving the cup that had the white fuzzy ball hidden underneath.


If speaking truth requires this obfuscation, and distraction, then I concede that he did it very well.

I'll miss him. I miss many thinkers that I do not necessarily agree with. 

Try reading Christopher Hitchens, etc.



So, call me courageous if you must, but young girls do look very delicious. I want to be one of them. Or, more precisely: I want to be wanted like one of them. 

I don't mean in the innocent way, either. I mean that they are sexually desirable and I want to feel that way also. Caitlyn wants that, too. If Caitlyn is courageous then pubescent girls are the nation's greatest heroes and anybody that says otherwise is a traitor, a coward. 

If announcing your newly arrived sexuality or gender is to be applauded, then why the fuck are there laws against taking children across state lines?

Any person that claims otherwise should be eaten by the pack, because they are a danger. The only reason men don't admit that young women are desirable is because they are cowards, under the thumb of women who don't look nearly as good as Bruce Jenner does right now, and afraid to take a legal battle all the way to the Supreme Court. 

They couldn't beat him in '76 in Montreal... and they sure as fuck can hardly lie next to him at a pool in 2015. Fat men are useless. They should only be taxed, or taunted, or both. 

Men are pussies, just look at Cait. Notice her lovely delta, her delicious way of drawing your eyes in towards her victories. 

Stweart gets it very wrong in assuming that she is now suffering the indignity of being treated like a woman. She is also enjoying the luxury of being noticed as one.

I would hold open a door for her. Who wouldn't?  Only an animal would act otherwise.

Few men would honor Bruce, the world is required to honor Caitlyn.  


Courage does not only exist on the periphery of desire, I've found. It sits and squats and stalks and wails right from the center, also, and sometimes dies there. Alone.


If making your sexual or gender preferences known on the cover of Vanity Fair is the definition of courage than Kim and Kanye should be awarded the Medal of Freedom. They simultaneously announced a celebration of their combined genders as if either of them were anything other than both all along. 

If you think Caitlyn's cover has any less to do with Vanity then you deserve all of the magazine covers the world can possibly throw at you, and the ads. The additions, as it were. 


Courage is not exclusive to the act of transition, it also involves the courage to be yourself, to maintain who you are, through common and dull adversity… sometimes, late at night, even if you haven't changed sexes, genders, husbands, wives, or tuxedos, anytime lately. 


I am as Evilyn.







.




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